Personal // Out in Nebraksa

 If you've seen anything on my Instagram or Facebook lately you know me & my family have hit the road and have been enjoying our family out in Nebraska.

 Hope you too are enjoying your summer & spending it well with the ones you love.

Film: Exploring Medium Format

For years I'd been dreaming about exploring film again. It's what I started out on and last year it was all I dreamt about. I'd given myself excuse after excuse not to pursue film, but it kept haunting me  until I gave in.

Last fall I found myself eyeing a medium format camera online, and with the encouragement and support of my husband and a few close loved ones, I dove right in. I got myself a Mamiya 645 AFD right before traveling to California. So I shipped it out to my best friends' house to meet me on the west coast and from there it was all butterflies in my stomach and fear.

Let me tell you, I was so afraid.

I was afraid because film felt absolutely foreign again. I was afraid I'd load the film wrong, or ruin the exposure, or leak light somewhere. I was afraid when I took every single shot, unsure of my camera settings, but really unsure of my skill. 

And after all was said and done, I was still afraid to send in my first rolls for developing. So the film stayed undeveloped for 6 months. 6 whole months. The truth is, I am a wimp. This is all I have been aching to do for the past year, yet it scared me to no end to actually follow through with it. 

But last week I built up the courage to finally send in my rolls to Fulltone Photo. I know there are many amazing photo labs around the country, and I've done plenty of research, but Fullton was the most cost effective for my first round of "trial & error". 

For my first set of scans I am extremely happy. I know I'll be shopping around in the future and I'll be sure to try other labs, but for now I'm grateful just to simply view my images and know that my rolls did not come out as duds. All without breaking the bank.

Here are a few favorites from my first few rolls of Kodak 400TX black & white.

{Some of which might be repeats from this post I did in digital}

A gigantic thank you goes out to my best friends who cheer me on while also modeling for me.
Their love and support helped make me brave.

Personal: Flower Girl Flash Back Friday

I had to dig deep into the archives of my life for this post.

People always ask me: why weddings?

Well, frankly that's what I know. 

And that's what I love.

Ever since I was young I was always involved with weddings. If I wasn't a flower girl, jr. bridesmaid, or bridesmaid I was always helping my mom with flowers and decorations. But let me tell you, I had a pretty solid flower girl resume by age 10. (Forget the fact that I was probably a photographer's worst nightmare because I was always blinking in group photos.) 

I didn't realize that even as a young girl I was already being molding and equipped with wedding experience that would last me a lifetime. The ebb and flow of a wedding day was so familiar to me, that weddings were a normal thing in my mind. But come freshman year of high school I would hear my classmates talk about attending their first wedding ever. I thought attending 1-3 weddings a year was normal for everyone, I'd been doing that since I was like 6.

When my best friends started becoming brides & my dear friends started becoming grooms, I started to see weddings in a new light. With the possibility of finding love in my own life I realized the true magic of a wedding day was in the memories made & the love that was honored. The love of a man and wife, the love of friends and family, and above all the love of a Savior and Lord.

Man weddings are a lot, a lot of planning, a lot of details, and a lot of fun.

To my fellow bridesmaids, maid of honors, jr. bridesmaids, and flower girls ...

Enjoy each moment celebrating with the sweet women, friends, and family in your lives.

Personal: Noah Turns Two

Let me be completely transparent before I go on.

I have never loved a little kid more in my whole life than my nephew Noah. Since day one we've been besties and I was blessed with the opportunity to be his #1 babysitter since he came home from the hospital. I was there when he learned how to craw, and I was there when he took his first steps. I've laughed and cried with him, I've prayed over him and with him. And my favorite thing to do with him is sing, dance and laugh together, until we can't laugh any more.

I know things will change when Tim and I have children of our own, when I will know a love I've never known before {parenthood}. But thanks to my sweet nephew Noah, I've learnt that my heart can grow far larger than I thought capable and that the sweetness of watching a baby grown into a little child is one of God's greatest gifts.

Going months without seeing him and my family in person kills me. 

But being greeted with a hug that just won't end, with little hands clinging to your face, a little boy who won't let you out of his sight now that he has you ... well it makes missing each other for awhile bearable and melts my heart to pieces.

I can't tell you how much birthday cakes thrill me. 

And man are we proud that this little dude blew out his candle. 

 And as I did last year on his 1st birthday, I made sure his face had a taste of cake before the rest of us did.

 Stunned and confused by everything for a moment.

 Until he got hold of a fork.

 And knew exactly what to do.

Besides the love of cake {like his Auntie}, guess who also loves to play cook?

What can we say? He's a man who loves food.

The morning of his actual birthday was such a sweet treat.

Birthday boy wanted Auntie and Grammy sitting next to him for breakfast.

Someone loved his chocolate rice. {Yes it's an actual thing; champorado}

After breakfast was over this messy eater ran around in diapers all day.

He's got some pretty sweet dance moves.

This one is called the "Fred Astaire"

Despite the gloomy weather outside, we had the loveliest time playing inside all day.

What a ham!

You must also know that Noah is the next NBA all star.

Do you see his form?

That follow through.

After a morning of playing, singing and dancing I slipped away to get ready for the rest of the day and I came back and found this little man reading in his bedroom like a big boy.

He makes me one proud auntie.

I love this little man so much.

I'll settle for this being our "best" picture together all weekend.

Happy Birthday big boy, Auntie loves you with her whole heart. 

I hope you are having the time of your life with all your titas and titos, and new friends in California. Just make sure to make your way back home ok? And sir, you make our days so much brighter, so much sillier, and so much more fun. It's a blessing to watch you grow up and learn more and more each time we see you. Never forget auntie and uncle are always praying for you, for God to continue to grow you up into a big, strong boy and for to come to know and love God.

I love you "sayap".